I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror organising my hair about 30min before a meeting. My hair just kept coming off every time when I brushed it through with my fingers, though it fell less and less. I started to feel like stopping doing it, but I couldn’t stop myself and I just wanted to wait till my last pull wouldn’t come with any hair off. Thought it would stop before the meeting, but the meeting started while I was still brushing my hair. It was a strange feeling to see the sink full of so much hair, a bit terrified of getting bold, but also a bit satisfied about getting rid of all the falling hair, like a way of cleaning myself. This conflicting feeling made me think of my relationship with anxiety/worries, which I wanted to get away from but I couldn’t help myself drowned in. Anxiety/worries can also relate to a medical reason of hair loss. The idea of recording my action of brushing my hair as performance came first and I checked that each time probably lasted about 20min till my hair stopped falling, every other day at most.
When I really decided to record it, I also thought of photographing the huge amount of hair left in the shower, which was a more frightening scene. Then I thought maybe, I should photograph all the falling hair whenever wherever I saw it on a daily basis. It falls and grows back everywhere every day, like anxiety/worries go away and come back everywhere every day. It shall be a collection of images and videos, and I want to taking notes of the time of each photo and video. The photos could be printed and placed casually in the space like hair.
I’ve never done a project like this before, like a daily documentation, my work used to be one-time staged scenes. And it is process-led instead of idea coming out first. I got the motivation of recording it before I even figured it out why. Not sure if it makes any sense, but I want to try. So I decided to buy a new camera and a tripod. The main direct reason is that the camera I have now can only record a video for 12min at most while I need it at least 20min and the image quality is just not good. And as I want to use a camera daily, it’s not realistic to just keep borrowing one from school. Spent two days deciding on a camera and lens… How crazy it sounds that I don’t own a camera I use and that I hardly even use a camera except for projects. I really should start to form a habit of taking photographs everyday with a camera or even just a phone.
























































