I have been thinking about the idea that complete interpersonal connection is impossible, which has been explored in my previous project, How Connected Can We Be. From my last project, Can You Direct Me, Please, I realized that I had not been able to accept that idea and I still had the desire of filling the gap. Influenced by Lacan’s theory about self and other, I feel I still cannot let go of the desire of a unity, a non-differentiation, a non-separation, a merging with others. But the lack, or absence, disconnection is the condition to become a functional being. The inability to accept the separation between self and other makes me functionless. I’m attached to other. When the other is gone, the attachment is cut but I still cannot accept the disconnection. My mind cannot be attached to my own body. My body becomes functionless on its own. It is misplaced. There is the desire of getting somewhere and the futility of meaningless attempts of erasing separation, otherness, boundary, space, or gap.
The inability to accept the absence makes me think of trying to sit on a chair that does not exist, put things on a table that does not exist, and hang things on a hook that does not exist. I find the three objects are all designed to support. Their absence shows a loss of support and the repetition of the attempts only to fall suggests I am unable to accept the separation. The visual of falling is inspired by Mona Hatoum’s Under Siege. The effect of absence is influenced by Jennifer Doyle’s writing about Franko B’s I Miss You!:
In walking down the aisle alone, Franko B performs a union with an absence, for an audience. In this sense, the performance locates itself in the agonistics of the melodramatic conclusion as one attempts to absorb loss, the gap between what one wants and what one has.
Hold It Against Me
Other is a mediation to feel my existence while I am unable to differentiate them. It makes me think the camera is also a mediation to see oneself. It suddenly reminds me of the illusion cameras can cause, like the illusion of complete unity other may provide self. I have the idea of creating the illusion of sitting on a chair, putting a cup on a table, and hanging clothes on a rack while everything falls but I keep trying.
Thought about setting up a scene within one room but I think it unnecessary because the focus is gonna be on each individual object while the objects don’t really interact.
CHAIR
TABLE
At the beginning, I forgot not to go over the table while raising the cup. And the depth of field was too big.
RACK
In the first shot, it can be seen that the clothes didn’t go through the rack.
In the second shot, the clothes went up through the rack directly.
Michelle said she’s drawn to the sound, like tap dripping.She also asked if I wanted to add written element to the work. I think the repetition of the sound adds the effect of annoyance, frustration and anxiety. And it also shows the passage of the time as well. I don’t really want to add texts into the videos because I think it’s too straightforward and directive.
Alison said she felt the body was like a robot, not being able to operate/recognise to be a person in the world. And she liked the colour. I’m glad she felt this way because that’s what I want to express. The body is without mind and it relies on other to direct it. The condition that I cannot accept the disconnection from other who my mind is attached to disables the functionality of myself as a cultural being in the world. I think the colour conveys the uncomfortable and suppressed feeling.
Yunqiu asked if there would be an end. There’s no end. I just want to show the moment of the state of being stuck/trapped while the body just cannot let it go, which further suggests its restlessness and the desire to be directed.
Wanted to ask Craig how he decided on the patterns and shapes some of his cards.
Inspired by my recent “relationship”, I feel my mind is not in my body. It’s attached to the other. While the other cannot be reached, my body is lost. It becomes functionless. It reminds me of Lacan’s theory:
But of course this is impossible, because that lack, or absence, the sense of “other”ness, is the condition for the baby becoming a self/subject, a functioning cultural being.
The condition that I’m not independent, and that I still can’t accept the disconnection, leaves my body directionless. The constant failure of daily tasks also show the constant desire of getting directed.
WALKING BETWEEN WALLS
The blue-green tone reminds me of Wong Kar-wai’s films. I think it conveys the negative and uncomfortable emotions.
What both Marx and Mauss understood was that objects and persons have values which are interchangeable, and should possess a considerable degree of interpenetration.
Daniel Miller
Reminds me of my project OFF and CLOTHES where I use the connection between objects and humans.
Inspired by my recent “relationship”, my unfulfilled desire for answers/clarification/recognition from the other makes me restless/unsettled. I’m anxiously longing for getting positioned/fixed, inspired by Lacan’s theory I noted before:
This sense of self, and its relation to others and to Other, sets you up to take up a position in the Symbolic order, in language. Such a position allows you to say “I”, to be a speaking subject. “I” (and all other words) have a stable meaning because they are fixed, or anchored, by the Other/Phallus/Name-of-the-Father/Law, which is the center of the Symbolic, the center of language.
Physically, I can’t keep still at a position because of my anxiety. My mind and body are separate. They’re misplaced. I’m not able to position/settle myself. It makes me think about improper body gestures for different objects such as chair, bed, toilet, table, or sink. I realise that bed and chair are the only daily objects designed for humans to be settled. While bed is for sleeping when I’m not conscious, chair is what I have problems inhabiting when I am awake. I don’t know how to seat myself properly regardless of my attempt. I need to be seated by other.
Tried different positions and lighting. There’s still some shadow couldn’t be got rid of.
Had a tutorial with Craig. He said that the positions were like on the edge of actions and he’d like to see it recorded as moving images with high-frame rate. I think I actually had thought about it. Moving images show more difficulty of holding. I’m not sure about slow-motion though. Have to see how it turns out. But I don’t know if it’s gonna work because it’s already very hard to capture some positions. And I’ll only have 1 light.
Ironed the clothes and tested the tripod, ISO and white balance. But still have to adjust it with the model and light.
Eva Wang 