• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Inspired by a “relationship” I’m having recently, I’ve been thinking that one can never not be lonely, especially the weak one in a “relationship”. Over exposure/honesty drives the other away. Two people cannot merge to one. Space/distance must exist. Connection makes me want to be honest with the other, but I can’t expose all my thoughts with the other. I can’t rely on the other completely. I have to keep away from the boundary. Or I’ll destroy this relationship, if it is a relationship. But this gap makes this connection not complete. I always have to control myself. I have to hold myself together. I can’t ask the other to protect me or save me. This control makes me unable to fully experience the connection with the other. Individual is always individual. One always exists on his/her own. It’s all because I’m powerless. I’m not the domination of my own body/existence. I can’t rely on myself.

So, how close/connected can we be?

• 

• 

I started to get the image of hugging an ice body and it melts eventually. Hugging is a common and simple intimate physical way of connection, and hugging all the time eventually melts the body. I give all my warmth and I hold it not to let go, which leads to its disappearance. The intention to express and experience connection damages the connection. As I didn’t know how to make it and it’s expensive to buy one, I thought of using an ice hand instead.

Then somehow I thought of hugging a body with clothes and eventually the body disappears and I’m wearing those clothes. I want to get all the warmth and connection from the other, and I do get what I want on the surface at that moment, but the clothes don’t work without the body. I shall be naked at the beginning. Thought of using the guy in the video, but it seemed too specific while I wasn’t trying to talk about a specific person/”relationship”. So I decided to use a mannequin.

After getting the ideas of holding and hugging, I naturally thought of kissing.

Thought of this work I saw before and it inspired me of making a head with sugar so that I could kiss and eat it eventually. Asked Eilidh how she made it and after discussion, I’d better consult a technician. At the same time, both Eilidh and my flatmate suggested me to try icing sugar/fondant as it’s easier to work with. So I bought sugar modelling paste to try to cast the mannequin’s head.

I let it dry for a night and it’s not hard enough. I wasn’t able to hold it as it’s cracking apart. Then I suddenly thought I could cut the parts that wouldn’t show in the video so that it’s lighter to hold. It got melted much faster than I thought. I’m not sure whether this soft texture or hard sugar works better. This one actually relates to skin better but it gets unrecognisable very fast. The action of kissing even got myself disgusted a bit… But I think it’s fine because it’s not all about romance, and it is a bit creepy itself in a “relationship”.